Growing up in Hawai`i meant 3 things: sunshine, `ohana, and lots of food! In my culture food equals love, and let me tell you… I definitely had a lot of love!
As a family, we cooked dinner almost every night and used eating out as a special treat. Soccer, volleyball, basketball, hula, and ice skating maintained my slim-but-curvy physique.
In college I kept my body trim with a rigorous class schedule and lots of activities. Between karate, cheerleading, and ballet, it was easy to keep the pounds off.
After graduating college in 2005 and remaining in California, I fell into a deep depression. I was 3,000 miles away from my family with a BA, no job, no car, and no direction. I also had no idea that I was depressed. Why it was so hard to get out of bed in the morning? Why I couldn’t hold a steady job? Why did everything my boyfriend said make me want to yell at him?
The days started to melt together into a numb haze. During this time between 2005 and 2010 I packed 100lbs onto my 5’5” frame.
Once I started to realize how my body was changing, my depression worsened. I began to look as miserable on the outside as I felt on the inside.
In ’07 I left my desk job and took up a part-time receptionist position at a local yoga studio. Since I was an employee, I was allowed to take class for free. I had never done yoga before.
The theme of my very first class was forgiveness, in whatever capacity that meant. By the time savasana came around, I had tears rolling down my face. I spent so much time hating myself for what I did to my body, that I hadn’t allowed myself to be forgiven so I could move on.
With the help of friends, my cat, and my boyfriend’s intense love and loyalty, I began to pick up the broken pieces of my life and start fitting things back together emotionally, physically, and financially.
I
fell in love with cooking, I ran my first 5k, and found the amazing
blogging community full of people just like me who understood what I was
going through. My depression has since disappeared completely. Eventually I stumbled onto the genre of “healthy living” blogs and have been obsessed ever since.
Through
reading the experiences of others, it became abundantly clear that
there was no sure-fire plan to get my body back in shape, I needed to root out the habits that were keeping me overweight and make a solid life change.
That is what I am currently working on!
UPDATE:
On June 10th 2011, one day before our 6-year anniversary, the love of my life asked me to marry him. Though I am at the beginning of my personal healthy living journey, I stand on an even bigger brink with him and am making a change in honor of our new life together.
